Friday, September 14, 2007

G'Day Y'All

This is your special correspondent Gruntly and it would appear that my first column resulted in an overwhelming response. To the 105 people who responded I will apologise to those who I have not responded to and to those who left offensive messages, bless your hearts. To those who contributed intelligent and thought provoking responses, this is not really one of those Blogs and I suggest that you reply to either the New York Post ( for those in the USA), or The Australian for those in Australia.

So lets get on with it.

READERS RESPONSES

One avid reader responded with corrections to my special correspondence tag "G Day Ya oorl" and I have begrudgingly accepted that it should the revised "G'Day Y'All. So from now on that's is what I will call my column. Thank you Larry for your in put Bless your heart.

The difference between a hissy fit and conniption fit is that the hissy fit is for sheilers and the conniption fit is performed by bokes. I will not accept any more correspondence on this one or I will have one.

Contrary to all those who thought there actually is a difference in the way water goes down the plug, guess what ? your wrong. In both hemisheres they go down either clockwise or anti clockwise (the opposite to clockwise for the special lady who did not know what that was). If you want to check for yourselves then go to "Myth Busters".

To those who have expressed ignorance to who Tony "Stacka" Stanford is I will enlighten you. He is a very good friend who I regard as "SPECIAL". He is over 50 and looks like Paul Hogan with out a face lift. I will accept that the USA brothers and sisters would not know him but to have my own "kin" ( that's family for the unknowing) not To know who he is is a little disconcerting.

TRAVEL INFO FOR NON USA TRAVELLERS

I wont repeat the excellent work of our editor, bless her heart but I will add some insightfull observations of my own.

Crickets

Now these little noisy critters are every where and are noisy during the day as opposed to the Australian crickets which are active at night.

Trees

In the states and counties that we have been to so far the trees appear greener and are generally fuller and taller than what we are used to. This makes for pleasant driving.

Skunks

Skunks are definitely something to avoid. Some folk hunt and eat squirrels, deer, possum and just about anything else that comes out of the woods but you would have to be brain dead to even shoot a skunk as it is a total waste of ammunition. Ones that have been struck by cars leave a discernible after taste as you pass them and even the crows and other carrion leave them to the ants.

Country Music

I am really enjoying the country music that is coming out of nearly every radio station in the country. As most of these stations are FM we have to change the station about every 10 miles. Consequently we have heard and now know the words to "She's my Fire Cracker" and "All my Exes live in Texas now I hang my hat in Tennessee." and numerous other great hits.

Van Info

In the USA they don't have small caravans as we know them. The vehicles on the roads and in the parks we are staying at are monsters. I saw one RV the size of a bus which must have been 45ft long towing a boat longer that itself. This was surprising enough but the driver and his wife must have been over 70.

Fuel consumption is something else. The RV we have, which is a small one at 27ft , has a 7.4ltr motor and gets 7.5 miles per gallon. It has a 38 gallon tank and luckily the fuel cost is way down on what we are used to. The cost is usually $2.80 per gallon compared to our $1.40 per litre. This equates to about A$6.00 per gallon.

As I have been unable to submit my material concerning the reunion on time the editor has told me to get off her Blog. So that's whatI will do so until next time

G'Day Y'All

PS. Y'All come back now Y'hear.

4 comments:

Stacka the Special said...

Well,my cover's been blown....now they all know who I am. I'm a little concerned that you have been tainted by the Northern air...those kind words??..."SPECIAL"...crikey, I think I need a tissue.
Now,I have to be a little unkind & pick you up on the Australian language...it's sheilas & blokes..yeah, I know, the "bokes" was a typo!!
Am I ever jealous about you being in Nashville..don't tell me that you're going to N'Orleans or I'll really throw a connipting hissy fit.
Just finished night shift, so I'm off to bed....keep up the good ambassadorial work...and just love your blogs.
Big hugs
Stacka the Special

Laura said...

You rock Gruntly!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Y'all are hilarious! People are giving me suspicious looks here at work, wondering why I am laughing out loud at my desk. (If I get fired will Australia want me in the immigrate and work program?)
Please ask the editor to post a blog detailing your night on the town in Nashville.
Enjoyed your phone call yesterday. Take care.
Jan (the Virginia Jan, not the editor Jan)

Melissa said...

You do rock Grant! Vastly impressed! Hehe! Loved the post!

I'm gonna remember you referring to Tony as your "special" friend to my grave :)

That's the sorta thing that you can't entice a straight man to say.... Sorry - had to say it!

Love

Melissa